CK Lynn

I really liked it! the only thing I could say to change would be this line: [quote="Lil_Pau"][b]Spirits of the Twilight[/b] Telling their story Through their flight It didn't flow quite ...

I thought about putting it in lyrics, but I wrote it as a poem, so I put it here.

funny

P.S. I fixed that misplaced question mark.

Ilke the idea. But seriously, you make this girl seem like a saint thrown into a pit of demons. Is everyone in this girl's life evil to her, or is ...

Divided last line, due to crits.

Try breaking up the lines.

I really liked it!

I'd like it to be longer. Discribe the little girl more. What does she look like? Is she alone? Part of a cruel family? Tell more, but take care not ...

I really like it. And surprise! This is one of the few poem I've seen where the rhyming works and doesn't sound forced or kiddish (dog, hog for example.) The ...

This is really generic. It kinda has the same "Tide is High" vibe. Try to make it more original.

Is this about the enviroment? Believing? You start out saying one thing then go off to another.

Thanks for the crits!

The first four lines werereally good, I would haves liked you to magnify on human flaws.

I liked how the verses went from long to short. The words themselves weren't anything new, try to incorporate the meaning of your title more to make it unique.